How many of us have felt panic because we’re middle aged (give or take) and don’t know what our purpose is? We feel like we’re wasting our time or worse, we feel like failures. This was me for DECADES. I watched enviously as friends talked about their passions. I grew green when someone exclaimed, “I’m so grateful to know what I’m meant to do!” Sure, I was happy for them. But with every success story I heard, I became more panicked about my own place in the world. Why are we so hung up on this need to know what we’re meant to do? To tackle this question, I started to do some research and self-discovery work.
For years I would flit from one interest to another. One month I’d be revved up about getting my Reiki certification and the next, I had put it all on a shelf, like an expensive doll that was only for show. This happened over and over and I started to beat myself up. “Carol, you’re spending your time and good money on classes, workshops, books and certification programs that you don’t use. What is your problem?” Each time I embarked on a new path, friends and family would exchange glances as if to say “here she goes again, following a pipe dream.” I probably imagined that last part, but I felt a sense of embarrassment over the fact that I “couldn’t get it together.”
It wasn’t until years later that it all made sense. All this hopping from one subject to another actually had a Divine purpose. As I looked back at my life, all the dots connected perfectly. I would meet someone who recommended a book, then through the book I became aware of a course, through the course I would meet someone who turned me on to a workshop. On and on it went. Over time I started racking up new skills, knowledge, certifications and more importantly new human connections. Everything I was doing had been for my highest good and was unfolding perfectly and in Divine Timing.
When I left corporate after 22 years, unbeknownst to me, I had a treasure trove of tools. When the inspiration hit to become a coach, I was suddenly struck by all the resources I had at my disposal. Years of studying and educating myself on various topics was now paying off. My Higher Self knew that all of these tools would help me…when the time was right. I wasn’t ready 10 years ago. I had more to learn, more life experiences to live through.
If you’re feeling panicked about your purpose, stop and get curious! Follow the energy, that fire that lights you up. If the fire dims down the road, don’t worry about it. Don’t analyze it. If the desire to learn something new is coming through you, know there’s a reason for it. It might not reveal itself right away, but trust that no time is wasted.