After I left corporate to strike out on my own, something interesting happened. At first, I had a surge of confidence knowing that I was finally going to live a purposeful life, a life that was Soul-aligned. But as the weeks ticked by and I hadn’t figured out what I was meant to do, I floundered. I could feel my confidence draining away. I envisioned my former co-workers judging me for squandering the life I once had—a life that had taken decades to build.
When I finally figured out what I wanted to do, I was excited. I had clarity. But soon impostor syndrome seeped in and once again I found myself questioning all my decisions. What had I done? Had I thrown away “security” for a pipe dream? Suddenly all my spiritual lessons about trusting and co-creating with the Universe seemed silly and highly impractical. I was scared—really scared.
Each month as I paid my bills, the pit in my stomach grew. My savings dwindled. Scarcity mindset overtook my brain. One morning I drove to the lake near my house, sat in the car and started sobbing. I was completely lost. At some point I looked out at the water and took a deep breath. A voice inside my head said “go visit Mother Mary.” I hadn’t been inside a church in quite some time, but the pull to do so was undeniable. I drove into town, my vision blurred from crying.
Upon entering the church, I saw that I was the only one there. I walked up the left aisle of the church and straight up to the statue of Mother Mary. I lit a candle an knelt in front of her. Again, the tears flowed. I sobbed and told her what had been happening in my life. I shared all my fears and perceived “mistakes.” I grabbed tissue after tissue as I recounted what had transpired over the last two years.
Eventually the tears slowed. I moved to a pew in front of Mother Mary and sat in silence. I felt better, as if I had released all the pressure in my body. I took some deep breaths. Calm washed over me. When I got in the car to go home, I felt different. I felt at peace. Yet, I wasn’t sure why. Nothing externally had changed. But then it hit me: I had surrendered.
The next day my energy felt very different. For the first time in a long time, I felt hopeful. Two days after talking with Mother Mary, two new business opportunities came my way. In surrendering and allowing something bigger than myself to take over, I had created a channel for good things to flow through. I felt connected once again.
Let go of the reins. Gently remind your ego that it doesn’t have to take the wheel. You won’t go off course. You are fully supported in every moment. All is unfolding exactly as it should.